Lockdown Living – World Theatre Day

It’s World Theatre Day Today

Here is my poem to celebrate World Theatre Day. I hope you enjoy it.

It’s World Theatre Day today

And I wish that I could say

That I’m heading off to see another show

But for the most obvious of reasons

They’re closed for this current season

So as I’m without a place to go

I’ll take stock of my blessings

That’s not as depressing

As rueing missed chances this year

I’ll reflect on past visits

And look through my tickets

Reminiscing of shows on the pier

As a child there was panto

Right through to next March

Household names from TV to the fore

Rod Hull, David Nixon

Basil Brush and Ken Dodd

Are some I remember I’m sure

Cinderella, Puss in Boots

Peter Pan, Robin Hood

At an evening or loud matinee

‘It’s behind you’ they shout

That I very much doubt

As I still go to see them today

With my own kids of course

And we scream ‘til we’re hoarse

As the villain gets hold of that lamp

But the end turns out fine

As the baddies all whine

When our hero becomes the town’s champ

In my teens, I made hay

Oh! the bands I saw play

At the Odeon or local Arena

Seeing Freddie and Queen live

Was it four times maybe five?

I’ve still got all the concert memorabilia

At Uni I recollect

I saw a play by Berthold Brecht

Arturo Ui and his Resistable Rise

Sheffield Crucible that were

The next time that I went there

I watched snooker for the ultimate prize

The World Championships no less

But I’m sorry to confess

I nodded off just one or two times

It finished really late

But at Arundel Gate

I caught a bus before

The sound of midnight chimes

Next time I fell asleep

And that was very very deep

Was in a theatre far far away

Leading a China school visit

I couldn’t stay with it

We had done so much the previous day

In our defence I can say

That it weren’t our first stay

It was a great show the first time around

Then my next far flung trip

To a Sydney airstrip

Just two hours since the plane touched the ground

Saw us viewing the spray

In Port Jackson Bay

And the reason we’d come did astound

Sydney Opera House at last

Wow! how many years had passed

Since I vowed to see it one time for real

A great trip to Down Under

To see this World Wonder

We clearly could see the appeal

Next time snow hindered travel

But we found the Big Apple

And our room was just two blocks away

In the midst of Manhattan

On the concrete grid pattern

At the place that is known as Broadway

One show clearly beckoned

To see the home legend

From Brooklyn, a part of New York

Yes, we got to see Barry

It made me so happy

To see him perform, sing and talk

I’ve seen nearly all of G & S

And I’ve made some costume dress

Iolanthe, Pinafore and Ruddigore

That’s when I lived in Garrick Road

And near that same postcode

Is a theatre that now proudly bears that name

That’s where I saw Avenue Q

But not the Taming of the Shrew

That was Stratford

Yes the one of Shakespeare fame

Then onto the Wizard of Oz

At the Palladium because

London was our base for the Olympic Games

Des O’Connor was the attraction

And we loved all of the action

As Dorothy looked for the title’s name

Now back home I’m quite content

To reflect back on great times spent

Watching live sets from comedy gold

Tommy Cooper, Vic and Bob

Alan Partridge and I sobbed

With laughter mostly uncontrolled

At Jasper Carrott, Stewart Lee

He might be now quite mad at me

For mentioning him in this little rhyme

But he’s the last act that I saw

Before theatre closed the door

And he’s much much better than the 41st all time.

Let’s hope it won’t be too long

Before we’re back to witness song

Fun and laughter or whatever floats your boat

In the circle, stalls or gods

I hope you’ve enjoyed my nods

Remember Ernie and the play what he wrote.

By Ralph 27/3/21

Lockdown living – Optimists League Tables

But what if we did win our games in hand?

This is an idea that I had when I was still at school. Although it has crossed my mind a few times over the last forty years, I have not done anything with it up to now.

The reasons for this are: It is just a fairly meaningless distraction and secondly, I needed to learn the IT skills to turn match scores into a dynamic table.

With some time on my hands, I have been able to do that and now I am ready to introduce my idea – Optimist Tables!

When I was young I used to waste a fair amount of time at the weekend pouring over the football results, scorers, minutes, attendance, referee etc. in the Sunday papers. Of course this also meant close scrutinisation of the league tables.

Now, when I mean close, I mean close! “We have two games in hand on so and so, but then again we have played more games than such and such. What if we win both? What if we don’t and they win theirs?”

As time went by I began to realise that the games in hand scenario was nearly always viewed with optimism. Of course! They are games in hand what if we WIN them? This applied if my team were in with a shout of Europe or at the bottom of a relegation scrap.

So my optimists table reflects that optimism. Instead of seeing your team languishing in mid table 3 games in hand on those above, wouldn’t it be more joyous to see them in a table on the edge of the playoffs? After all we ARE going to win those games in hand aren’t we?

So my Optimists Table assumes just that! Instead of ranking teams on points won, it ranks teams on points still attainable.

Yes, I know, for the statistician, the table cannot look this way in reality because a win for one team means a defeat for their opponents. But I don’t care about the other team, only mine, and I am an optimist!

Here is the League One table again in traditional format and also as an Optimists table. My team are not in League One at the time of writing but I chose this as there was a bigger discrepancy between games played compared to some other leagues.

As it stands
For the Optimist, as long as you have games in hand!

I don’t mind at all if you think that it is a daft idea. I’m not seriously suggesting league tables should look like this instead. I know it is more important to have points on the board than games in hand. I just thought it was about time I shared it. Although, in this modern era where there are plenty of meaningless stats being quoted, about football, this might just have a bit more credibility than some of them.

It is probably going to give a league table produced after the opening day of the season a run for its money, and of course for those poor supporters who don’t even get to see their team play in the opening week because the opponents are competing in a European competition, a table with their team at the top end on 114 possible points looks a lot better than down the other end on zero.

I would like to thank tigerspreadsheetsolutions.co.uk for the inspiration, learning and understanding to tackle the spreadsheet via their YouTube channel.

I would as always be interested to learn what you think, I might even produce some for other leagues or keep the EFL ones up to date.

Here are the updated Optimist Tables for the Championship, March 21 2021 after Saturday’s games. I will update after the International Break.

And here are The Latest for League One and League Two after quite a few of those games in hand were played last night (23/3/21)

Standings after Wednesday’s matches 23 March 2021
Standings after Wednesday’s matches 23 March 2021

The Optimists Tables shown are for entertainment purposes only and by visiting this blog, you understand that some errors may occur during their preparation and that the writer accepts no responsibility for any usage other than their illustration for entertainment on these pages.

Lockdown living – Copyright quiz

True? False? or Not Sure? Take the Copyright Quiz on TES Resources

A short blog post today, but I found this an interesting and revealing exercise. Having done a lot of research on Copyright before publishing my own learning resources I was keen to try this newly published quiz – or should I say retrieval practice ?

This appeared on the TES recently. I got 17/20 and I would have not got anywhere near that before my recent research.

The link to it is HERE

If you are willing to share your score, please post a comment below. What was the most surprising thing you learned? Mine was the point about using a low quality image of part of the book front cover.

My most recent learning resources can be viewed via the MENU tab on the top right.